Just when you fear losing some people and try to let everything be a fuss, you never know that they are already going farther beyond your sight, lost, earlier than when you expected.
The twist of events had not been perfect these past few days. Although it is summer season right now, all he felt was the warmth of everything, not to mention the despicable scorching heat of the sun. He actually screwed things up when piles of work have come along his shoulders together with field tasks, worries about home, some penny constraints, studies, yes school, where by the way he plans to pursue the dream he ever wanted, and a lot of stuff.
More than a year ago when he has conquered the metro to find the pastures he wanted to sow his seedling visions. More than a year ago likewise when he has fell out of that wonderful feeling of being in L*** (
what’s the word again?) or shall we say got lost from those special people he was with for almost quite some time. Yes, with those comrades and allies where he one time became afraid of getting with, until he has fueled up his strength to face the world and be acquainted to it, them.
“Somewhere where everybody else is with the crowd, there would always be that little folk who aspires to meet and see the world.”
Aloof. With his favorite chocolate chilled drink he usually sips on for companion’s sake, there he was solitary on one nook of the food court trying to kill some time and wait for another day to pass. Oh sorry, that’s what the picture ages ago. He considered himself a ‘social phobic’ with fear of getting loose and be with the crowd. One time he tried being close to some buds, and then another, and another, but all came to end up a foible. All he wanted was to experience the kind of feeling of having the so-called ‘bests’ where he hardly had experienced. You know those kids who sleep over and play arcades together, those troops who sport their gears to bike the afternoon around, those beasts who party all night, prank and do some crazy stuffs together? Epic failed. Neither of them he had experienced at all.
“Amidst the inevitable resentments we feel, those hurt, those worries, those envies, will always take us by the hand and inspire us to be more productive our way.”
And there goes one humid afternoon. Seeing the vast plains from afar, he made himself secured by the mango tree he’s leaning on. When feelings become thoughts, it always paves the way to drawing inspiration and creating something, indeed. He inked those emotions on a piece of paper, cried his heart out and turned those words in harmony, in spontaneous lyrics of his current mood:Alone on one nook, I was mute.
Alone on keyless shackles, I was ceased.
Yes I am there, though I was not,
generating nightmares of uncertainty. Empty, I don’t have anybody;
empty of everything that the world has.
A man on an island, that was me
counting every grain, every grain of sand. (Chorus) My crest had fallen, don’t know if I’m in.
Drooping is my spirit going down.
My crest had fallen, no one’s inspirin’.
Below is my game underground. Dim, the moon lurks from me showing its back.
Dim is the life I’m living, Oh so bad!
Pretense, I’m masked, where am I?
Searching endlessly for him who’s “I”. Numb is the feeling entirely.
Numb, as no one to count on in my journey.
I’m alone, with no one in sight
Always gone through the winds solo flight. When is the time I was one?
When is the time I’ll be two?
Be out of this monotonous blues.
And hear someone say, “Hey I’m with you!”.
“There can be no Grammy’s that could make you prouder than humming the song of your heart.”
Lalalalala and there it goes. Relieved, he made himself the composer of his own production. The song helped him vent out his innermost sentiments and made it as the tune towards the realization of his dreams. Certainly, sometimes these opportunities give us lighter vibes that free us from our shackled emotions.
It started with the Snickers, melted Snickers by the way, yes the chocolate bar that blends with nuts and nougats and was tagged as “the next big thing to heaven” for some. (Ahhhh. Awesome!) Someone handed it over to him amidst his ‘emo’ mood, just perfect to boost his endorphins, perfect to start off giving trust anew, maybe. That Snickers lad became his bona fide confidante as days fleeted especially that he is alone in the metro where he chose to live in. Both seem to adjust to each other’s personalities. They clicked on a snap and memories then tried to be in synchrony with the cool breeze of Yuletide season. For months, both became the fortress of each other, twins as they may see it. He has never felt those blunt days again. That simple chocolate froze hard to last forever. In our most unexpected moments, there would always come a time where we fail to realize that those ordinary are those who turn out to be special, and their friendship can testify to it.
Yet again, “Just when you fear losing some people and try to let everything be a fuss, you never know that they are already going farther beyond your sight, lost, earlier than when you expected.”
The twist of events had not been perfect these past few days. Summertime came and there goes the change of breeze as well. Something went wrong; no one knows exactly what caused it. Misunderstandings got their way and here comes the crest and troughs of the real current. Maybe, no one has yet fully understood the other. Maybe there are still some spaces left to be filled in. That frozen choco bar seemed to return back again to its original state as before: melted.
He keeps holding on to that withered friendship. He’s steadfast to that thought that it might be just a challenge, not another one to waste again. That melted Snickers will sure to get back to life again, he believes, and truly believes…
More often than not, we wonder why we are faced to hurdle a lot of odds in our existence. Sometimes we deem to see it just a test of how unwavering is our faith to things we value so much. Day by day we get to experience various occasions, we discover new things, simple things, which we never knew could become gigantic when that most awaited ‘soon’ finally comes.
Just as this simple Snickers chocolate bar, let every one of us be inspired to keep valuing our dearest possessions. With our neglect to see the necessity of such things, sometimes we fail to notice that they are actually getting withered and melted. Life is delicate just as every relationship can be as fragile if due nurturing is forgotten. We can’t undo the fact that people come and go our way drastically in this ephemeral time.
Like him, you may come across someone who’ll give you a special candy, a golden coin or the same chocolate bar one day in your most unexpected circumstance. Seize that moment, own it. Value such little treasures you will receive as they may be the ones that’ll grant the desires of your longing heart.